So there I was walking around a duck pond in Odessa, Texas ranting about my G-Shock DW-H5600 when a cute fluffy dog walked up to me and wanted some pats. Yes, the momentum of my anger was derailed for a moment but I harnessed the change in tack to lighted up the video a tad.
The DW-H5600 looks really cool but at the end of the day us G-Shock owners want to do is totally mog Garmin owners. And this one just isn’t doing that.
But still it’s a good looking watch and as much as I rant I really can’t help but like it. Do you want one for yourself? Go ahead and click this affiliate link and buy a G-Shock DW-H5600.
My rants aren’t intended to dissuade you from buying it. I just want you to know what you’re in for. And more importantly I want Casio to design a G-Shock that makes Garmin owners cry so hard their face turns pink.
In the meantime enjoy Google’s Gemini AI’s attempt at transcribing my rant. I cannot vouch for its accuracy. It’s an artificial intelligence language model. But it’s good for laughs so here it is below:
Jim Kinkade starts the video with a sigh, expressing disappointment despite the watch’s beauty. He criticizes Casio for setting the bar too high for the DW-H5600. He feels it combines the worst aspects of classic G-Shock design with modern, app-dependent smartwatch features. Jim Kinkade is particularly upset about Casio marketing the watch as a smartwatch, emphasizing it on websites like Uncrate and Hacker News. He believes people will be disappointed expecting a fitness watch because the GBD-H2000 is a much better option. The host worries that the DW-H5600 will damage the reputation of G-Shock and Casio.
Jim Kinkade then transitions into frustration, referencing the “smartwatch boys” who constantly need to charge their devices and are exposed to Bluetooth radiation. He contrasts this with the simplicity and ruggedness of G-Shock watches. Jim Kinkade is concerned that people who want to ditch smartwatches will be drawn to the DW-H5600 because it appears to be a compromise between a smartwatch and a G-Shock. He worries that these people will be disappointed with the smartwatch features and give up on G-Shocks altogether.
Jim Kinkade emphasizes his point with exasperation, saying people will ruin all the effort put into convincing people to move away from being constantly connected. He fears people will try a G-Shock, be disappointed, and return to their Apple Watches. Jim Kinkade reiterates that the core appeal of G-Shocks is their simplicity and ruggedness. While the DW-H5600 could be used as a regular watch, the high price point doesn’t justify features most people won’t use.
Jim Kinkade concludes the video with frustration, criticizing Casio for not listening to fans’ requests for a simple square watch with a MIP display and solar charging. He feels the GBD-H2000 is the superior fitness watch option, and the DW-H5600, despite its beauty, is a dud.
Actually this summary was more articulate than the actual rant but lost a lot of the raw emotion. So even if you read that summary, you’ll want to watch the video to feel the power and see extreme closeups of my face and also that little dog who wanted to get patted.